Start Again

Well, it’s been a long time since I’ve written here. I will peak from time to time at others’ posts, and my heart will lend itself to the stories that are told. It is such an amazing place for all of us to come together to share our world of trying to conquer the things that are causing us harm. But I struggle knowing what to say, to give advice. I always think that I am not qualified because I’m just trying to figure out each day myself at this point. 

I was becoming obsessed with this non drinking world I was living. It was taking up most of my moments. I delved deeper into myself and I was analyzing most of my time. I was either loving my non drinking self and wanted to wear a t-shirt that said “Non Drinker, High on Life!”, or I was in the depths, wondering how I was going to live my life as an outsider, how am I going to save my marriage, how am I going to explain to clients that I do not drink. Sure, there were times that I thought I could handle it, and I felt that I had the magic key to clarity and true living. But there were many times that I thought my obsessiveness was ruining my life in a different way. So I decided to back off. To try to  learn how to just be me, and to be forgiving, non judgmental, and to just do the next right thing. I tried to focus on my work during the day and not just on being sober so that I could learn to live a normal life. So I’m trying, and a lot of time I’m succeeding, and some of the time I’m failing. 

I overcame a huge hurdle this week. I accepted an offer at a new company which is like a dream come true! I will be leaving my high stress sales job for a new position that will offer a bit more of everything, and I can’t wait. I am one luck sober girl this morning, and I’m hoping to handle being on this site a bit more again, to be able to join you sober sisters with truth telling and encouragement. Thank you to all who share. There’s so much learning that takes place when we open our hearts and minds to others.   

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