Eating = Not Drinking

What the hell is so hard about the late afternoon, the drive home from work, and taking that first step into the house? I know they call it the witching hour for sober folks, cocktail hour for drinking folks, but it’s my Screw You Leave Me Alone Hour. I have a friend that once told me she demands that everyone leaves her alone after she comes home from work. She’s a nurse, and has a glass of wine in her kitchen while she starts dinner before anyone can really talk to her. I totally relate, although I haven’t told anybody to leave me alone. In the past I’d just pour myself a glass of wine while listening to all the stories about my family’s day, and all the things I needed to do. Then I’d pour another glass of wine as I got overwhelmed, and then I’d pour another glass of wine while I became anxious, and then I’d pour another glass of wine and not eat the dinner I prepared. You get the picture.

Lately the Screw You Leave Me Alone Hour has been driving me a little nuts so I’ve been having to really plan my evenings. I couldn’t make it to yoga in time after work, so I called my husband and told him to put the meal we bought already prepared from the butcher shop in the oven, pronto! I don’t know what it is, but if I eat a decent meal all the desire to drink goes away. What a simple and rather pleasant solution. Eating = not drinking. At least that’s how it is for me anyway.

When I got home the dinner was not quite done, so I grabbed my son and got him a much needed hair cut. We all ate together, then I took my son out to practice for his driving test. My thoughts about drinking were in the background of my life once again, not sitting in front of me shouting in my face. I took a warm shower, put on some comfy clothes and watched a movie. I slept like a baby. I’ve woken up grateful this morning instead of hating myself this morning. I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again. Those lousy 3 hours, 5PM – 8PM make all the difference. They are powerful hours, life changing hours. But when I just see them as 3 hours in a 24 hour day they become more manageable, and hell, that’s dinner time so I may as well eat dinner………..

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