Okay, neglected blog. It’s been far too long that I’ve committed to you and to myself. After coming back from a week long booze fest of a vacation I’m soooooo ready to start facing my alcohol intake, and to take myself and my health seriously. I don’t know why I feel I need it just to get through a day. What is a day? What is horrible about maybe having more time on my hands than I’m used to with being an empty nester? So what I’m having trouble with how to do my job during a worldwide pandemic? There’s millions of people out there, fighting the disease, putting their lives on the line, and I whine that I’m not sure what direction my job will be going in, if I will still have a job, blah blah blah.
I do know this. That no matter what comes my way I’m going to do my best to stay sober. If there’s one thing I’ve learned along the way, is that I’m always better when I’m not drinking. It’s just that awful feeling of boredom, being uncomfortable, not having a hobby to help me grow and learn who I really am. I do know this. When I wasn’t drinking I was starting to like myself, to love myself, to learn how to be myself. And then all of a sudden a romanticized moment allowed my addict’s voice to come in and whisper sweet nothings in my ear. And where did that wolf in sheep’s clothing lead me? Back to low self esteem, self loathing and a strong hatred of myself and my life. So, before I get on with my day I’m going list some things I’m grateful for this morning as I return to work and get on with my day.
I’m grateful I have this blog where I can put down my thoughts and my triumphs as I give up the booze.
I’m grateful for my new Unf*ck Yourself candle that will help me get my sh*t straight. (please see photo)
I’m grateful for my children and all the wonderful things they are doing and their future.
I’m grateful my mom is happy and in a safe place.
I’m grateful my husband loves me and I love him.
Happy Sober Tuesday,